The Real Reason You Aren’t Losing Weight And 3 Ways To Change It

You don’t have a weight loss problem. Honestly. You don’t.  You might have some mindset confusion, commitment roadblocks, or a few accountability challenges – this is normal. But it’s not that you can’t lose weight.

Weight loss is the most transformative journey a woman can go on because you can’t escape yourself or your thoughts or your life.

That’s why it has to be deeper than just eating more veggies and exercising more. When you become so in tune with what you’re thinking, feeling – and eating, too – this is how change is created.

But you need awareness to create change so you can get that better mindset, make lasting commitments to your weight loss, and stay accountable.

One of the reasons I decided to create The Weight Loss Code was the opportunity to interview weight loss experts from around the world and solidify how to get that awareness. And, let me tell you, the research all pointed back to 3 key themes.

If you are wondering the real reason you haven’t been able to lose weight, then these 3 things are for you.  

#1 Are You Planning for Success or Expecting Failure?

Understanding the difference between these two things is crucial. Think about all the things you plan – dinner parties, seasonal holidays, birthdays, vacations, kid activities, etc.

But when it comes to your weight loss goals you may have the tendency to just expect failure. You think, “Ok, I’ll try this…” and you white knuckle some ridiculous diet for a while and when it doesn’t work, you continue to solidify the belief that it’s not possible for you and that you’re a failure.

((((Which is so wrong, btw))))).

Chances are, you haven’t taken that time to truly plan and research what healthy weight loss looks like for you. When I first start working with clients, so many of them have spent more time researching snorkeling options in Hawaii than they have about what healthy weight loss really looks like.

So, it’s easy to get caught up in the diet rhetoric or Holy Grails the diet industry promises you. They are betting on this very thing about you.

But if you are moving into your 40s, 50s, 60s and even 70s, and are still struggling with your weight then I invite you to start thinking about planning for your success instead of expecting failure.

This isn’t just a catchphrase or passing thought, you have to to be super intentional about it. Take time to get the right knowledge about what healthy, permanent weight loss really takes. The next step will help you do that.

#2 What Is Your Mindset?

Perfection cannot exist in weight loss. Period. There is NO such thing.

If you start a diet that has rigid rules and you screw up, it’s easy to think you’re the screw-up. You are not. I promise. You are not a failure or any other mean stuff you tell yourself when things don’t go perfectly.

What you are not… is realistic. Your mindset needs to be realistic, and so does your weight loss. You need to embark on a journey that allows you to bounce back from mistakes, and learn when you fall off the wagon instead of abandoning your entire plan.

Imagine if you expected to be perfect at parenting, career, kids, marriage – you would be absolutely drained, right? This is the same for weight loss.

Demanding perfection with your weight loss makes you exhausted. Along with this, perfection tells you that you have to overhaul your entire kitchen, lunch options, and exercise routine starting tomorrow.

(100 changes at a time are too many. Even 5 changes can be overwhelming.)

Instead, ask yourself what’s realistic for you today? Then add another thing tomorrow, and so on.

#3 What’s Your Level of Commitment?

How is your commitment to endurance going? Here’s the deal – it’s really easy to feel MOTIVATED when you feel crappy about yourself – you become willing to do almost anything in order to lose weight FAST.

You might be perfect for that week (see how that word just creeps in!) but motivation will drop rapidly when there are crazy demands at work or when your kids get sick, or if you take a vacation.  But when the reality of real life hits, it’s easy for motivation to waver and then you slip or completely “fall off the wagon” and it’s like – wow…whatever, I’m done with this.  

When you learn how to let go of perfection and bounce back from hard days, commitment is the next step to steady weight loss.

Commitment is then combined with persistence. In order to create the best recipe, you need to add patience in there too.


You also benefit from the right knowledge and support, too. Without it you might think things aren’t going well because it feels like the weight just isn’t dropping quick enough – BUT healthy weight loss takes time.

Too many women have crazy expectations of their body and they STOP taking action before they even SEE the results. And then you stop and start something else – and you stay in the start/stop cycle for the rest of your life. (Helloooo yo-yo dieting – yuck.)

A piece of that knowledge looks like this…

Say you’ve got 20 lbs to lose. Most women I know believe that should happen within two months or so.


Permanent, healthy weight loss takes time. That’s why you have to plan for your success, get rid of perfection, and up that commitment level.

How about this…

Most weight gain happens between 6 pm and midnight! Why? This is when most women have downtime and their mind starts spinning.

Maybe this is when you feel lonely or stressed about the next day. Maybe you’re exhausted or worried about something. Or lonely. Or Sad.

So you snack.

As I said at the beginning, weight loss is always about something deeper than food and exercise. You have to do that inner work right alongside the outer in order for real transformation to take place.

Ask Yourself This

Below are 3 questions I require all my clients to answer. I’d like to share it with you and I invite you to share your responses with me. If you email them to me, I will personally get back to you. Promise.

  1. What are you avoiding in your life? What is it you don’t want to face? What is that tension or discomfort? When you hide from these feelings, your weight will be affected. You will use food to distract, avoid, and soothe. Find out what that gap is in your life.
  2. What are your triggers? What habits take you away from where you want to go? Most women don’t even know they are emotional eaters. Start paying attention to WHY you’re eating WHAT you’re eating WHEN you’re eating it.
  3. How much joy are you experiencing in your life right now? Low joy directly correlates to a higher weight. Where can you lighten up a tiny bit? Where can you take the pressure off? Where can you have more fun? What can be 80% good enough?

Every woman deserves to feel good in Her body and life. If even one other woman has done this then so can you. Give yourself the time and the real chance to get engaged and committed. If you do this, I bet life will look different a year from now.

Mine sure did. And if I can create change…so can you!!

Click below to get my *free* ebook and learn five things you can start doing today to outsmart your fat cells and start losing weight.


About the Author:

Jennifer coaches busy, successful women with imperfect lives who want to look and feel amazing from the inside out. With her tried-and-proven weight loss method—ENERGY to Thrive™—Jennifer takes the fascinating science of physiological transformation and breaks it down into six empowering steps.

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