In the past few weeks, I’ve personally spoken with 25 women about their weight loss struggles (and successes). And what I’ve found is that although weight loss is different for everyone, there is a universal thread that comes up again and again.
But first, let me ask you this: Do you ever feel like you are looking for that *one* thing that will make it all click and come together for you?
If you’ve been reading me for awhile, you know that healthy weight loss takes time but there is power in this small thing that is often overlooked (and it’s also the common thread among all women trying to lose weight permanently).
KEEP THE PROMISES YOU MAKE TO YOURSELF!
Turns out, half the battle really is just showing up – even in less than ideal circumstances.
Here’s why (with a little help from Amy Schumer)…
The Power of Showing Up
Weight loss can be like death by a thousand cuts. The cuts look and feel like this…
- You tried the cleanse your friend raved about and it didn’t work, so you stopped in the middle.
- You said you were going to go to the gym every morning at 6:30 am but you’ve been hitting snooze in the mornings instead.
- You decided to ditch your 3 pm Starbucks run, but you haven’t followed through on it one day this week – you’ll start next week.
- You say you’re not going to eat the brownie or have the glass of wine when you sit down at the end of the night, but you end up having both, and then having seconds!
Every time you say one thing to yourself and do another it’s like a mini act of self-betrayal and women do this to themselves hundreds of times a week.
Every time this happens, you beat yourself up by saying horrible things about yourself to yourself, and you continue to live in that shame and remorse cycle. It’s not really about what you’ve done (eating the brownie, hitting snooze, or drinking the frappuccino) it’s about breaking that promise to yourself.
Those mini acts of betrayal take away your confidence and your belief that you’re capable of creating change. Instead, you think that you are a failure somehow (you’re not, by the way, more on that in a second) and you begin to lose serious faith in yourself.
Think about it like this – in all of the roles you play in your life (ie. as a wife, mother, grandmother, sister, friend, employee, CEO, etc.) you are constantly showing up for the people around you. I have a strong feeling you keep your promises to them and you are loved, cherished, praised and rewarded because of it.
And, I would hope if those people were constantly lying to you, saying one thing and doing another, letting you down, standing you up, not keeping their promises, etc. that you would begin to back away from those relationships.
Yet, when it comes to yourself – you often create and live in a very self-abusive relationship with yourself and don’t even know it.
Fact: you simply don’t treat yourself with the same love and respect you treat others with…and you continue to tolerate it.
That’s why when women come to work with me, I always know that weight loss will happen but the bigger part of the transformation is repairing the relationship women have with themselves and making it a way healthier one.
So, the bottom line is that you have to learn how to fall in love with yourself.
The “all or nothing” mentality that the dieting world has had you trapped in makes you feel like if you can’t commit to every rule, why do it at all? Or if you can’t be perfect at it, then maybe you should just forget it, right?
By deciding that you are important enough to keep promises to, you will begin to repair trust with yourself. Deciding to simply show up for yourself even when it’s a hard day or challenging, or you don’t want to do it is the first step to repairing that trust.
Then, you have to get super connected to your word – if you make promises to yourself, then you need to keep them.
Focus On One Step
When you don’t keep that commitment to yourself, it eats away at your confidence and makes you feel like you’ve failed. This can also be because you are trying to do way too much at once.
You need to be committed, consistent and get in the habit of doing what you say you’re gonna do. That is how you strengthen inner resolve.
The best way to do this is to practice in small, doable chunks.
Instead of saying, “I’m going to work out every day this week at 6 am…” only to find yourself hitting snooze, try saying this instead…
“I’m going to work out today. I’m just focusing on today.”
Or instead of saying, “I’m ditching Starbucks and never going back…”
Try saying, “Today I’m going to replace my afternoon sugar rush with a tea…”
Notice how you feel when you do keep those promises and celebrate those wins.
There is a solid chance that you’ve been living in a state of feeling bad about yourself. When you do this, you set yourself up for failure (without even realizing it!). You have to get back to that self-loving place, where you set yourself up for success.
It’s all about one step, one hour, one day at a time.
Start Feeling Pretty
One of the best ways to keep that connection comes from Amy Schumer. Yep. Recently, I saw the movie I Feel Pretty and walked away with something pretty profound.
Here are the must-know plot points…
A woman who struggles with feelings of insecurity and inadequacy on a daily basis wakes from a fall believing she is suddenly the most beautiful and capable woman on the planet. With this newfound confidence, she is empowered to live her life fearlessly and flawlessly.
I finished the movie thinking, what if you just decided to live your life with that kind of confidence? What would be differing? — The answer is… everything!
What if you just kept telling yourself that you are worthy of every single thing coming your way? Because you know what? It really is true.
What if you went through today and said, “I am amazing!” Seriously! What’s going to happen?
I promise you (and this is a big promise) it’s going to feel better and be more motivating than the things you are currently telling yourself about your yourself.
When you project that with an inner source of motivation and confidence, it directly correlates to your external habits. As I say time and time again, if you want to look good on the outside, you have to do your inner work.
So, what are you doing today? Start to be willing to practice. Practice leads to progress, and progress helps you gain back that trust with yourself.
One of the best ways to stay accountable is to reach out for support. By saying (aloud) your commitment for the day, you are more likely to stick with it. Pop your commitment in the comments.
The commitment is how you get results. Those results will show up if you make the commitment. This means you have to be kind to yourself as you build this emotional resilience. Stop putting extremes on yourself.
Focus on the doable, step-by-step actions that will help you show up for yourself. These small steps will help you stick to the journey that will help you make peace with your body and mind and help you lose weight and keep it off – for good.
If you’re at a loss with what to do – it’s time to reach out and book your Complimentary Weight Loss Breakthrough Session with me.